i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
