Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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