is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
