I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
