Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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