I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
