jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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