Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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