I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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