I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
