but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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