my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks