just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.