bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
ok first of all what the fuck
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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