I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?