Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?