Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
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