I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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