Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
