That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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