i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
