I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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