Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I need to calm my uterus...
I deserve this hangover.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
