I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
