No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize