Those balls look pretty dangerous.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
