okay pat passed out under dana's car
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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