take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
