she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize