He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
