i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
