I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Randomize
