It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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