their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
