the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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