she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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