That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
