Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My breasts were aching with rage.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
