im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
PANTIES FOUND
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