i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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