they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
