I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
