hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
my nose is crying tears of wow.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize