Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
