well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
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going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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