During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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