oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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