I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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