he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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