I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
