That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
