the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
