There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
