You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
