ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
its liver damage thursday
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
