Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
