my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
