are you so shy because you have an std?
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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