The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
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It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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