Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
