i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize