Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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