Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
