but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
