No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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